An expectant mother asked if she was wrong for not wanting to tell her mother-in-law the sex of her baby on the way. In a post on the AITAH subreddit, the original poster (OP) shared she’s expecting her first child with her husband, whom she referred to as “Mark,” and they’re about to find out the sex of the baby from a blood test. The soon-to-be first-time mom, 28, explained that she told her husband, 29, she only wanted to tell her dad and brother and explicitly didn’t want to tell her mother-in-law. “He says I’m being an a and that it’s ‘unfair’ to exclude her,” she wrote. OP went on to explain her reasoning for not wanting to tell her mother-in-law. “1. She can’t keep a secret. When I was 7 weeks pregnant, we told her with the strict condition that she tell NO ONE,” she wrote. “Within days, she had told her entire side of the family. She told us that it is good to have her families’ blessing, I KNOW, but not before 1st trimester ends. 2. The ‘Bad Luck’ Incident: My own mother passed away last year. That first Christmas without her was hell. My MIL, however, did not invite me to her home,” OP explained. “The reason she gave my husband? Because my house had ‘seen a death’ and I was therefore considered ‘bad luck.'” She concluded the second reasoning, saying, “I spent the holiday grieving and alone while Mark felt obligated to go. The pain and disrespect from that act are something I will never forget.” The expectant mother explained that her and her mother-in-law’s relationship dynamic has suddenly changed since she became pregnant. “Now that I’m pregnant, she’s suddenly overly involved, calling me affectionate names she never used before and wanting to be part of everything,” she explained. “It feels completely fake. I feel like I’m only valued as the grandchild-bearer. I tried to explain to Mark that this isn’t about ‘fairness.’ It’s about trust and respect. My dad and brother have been my rock. They are discreet and supportive,” added OP. “His mother has shown me twice that she is not: first by treating me like a pariah when I was grieving, and second by blasting our private pregnancy news.” Never miss a story sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. OP went on to say that her husband is focused only on the fact that she’s his mother, saying she’s “punishing” her for the past. “He thinks I’m holding a grudge and being an a for not giving her the same privilege as my family,” she said. “She had a history of poor financial decisions (gambling, bankruptcy) that my husband had to clean up, she had a stroke a few years ago and we told her the news in week 7 as we want to keep her motivated in life.” Many people in the Reddit community slammed the husband in the comments for his treatment of OP. One user wrote that OP’s husband is the issue in the relationship, adding that OP is “ignoring the real problem. Your husband left you ALONE on Christmas the year YOU LOST YOUR MOTHER??? Girl you have a HUSBAND problem! He allows his mother to disrespect, alienate and be cruel to you. He doesn’t have your back. He doesn’t support you. And he never will,” one user commented. “You will be back here in a year because MIL has taken over how you raise your child and your husband does nothing. You will be back in 3 years crying about how she has moved in and taken over your home,” they continued. “You will be back in 5 years ready to get divorced. And it will take you that long because you’re ignoring the real problem so deeply right now.”.
https://people.com/wife-angers-husband-after-refusing-to-tell-mother-in-law-sex-of-baby-11855686
Wife Doesn’t Want Untrustworthy Mother-in-Law to Know the Sex of Her Baby. Now, Husband Thinks It’s ‘Unfair’ to ‘Punish’ His Mom
