Dear Abby: My daughter is asking me to apologize to her boyfriend, “Harry,” for yelling at him when I was helping them move six years ago. (I had traveled 250 miles to help.) The day of the move, Harry didn’t take the day off work, so he wasn’t there to help. (They had a second-floor unit with no elevator.) When he finally did show up, he proceeded to slow-walk taking out the recycling stuff. At the new place, Harry helped somewhat, but when the food was delivered, rather than continue to help, he decided to sit down and eat while the other two helpers and I continued moving stuff in. (This was 10 hours into the move.) That’s when I lost it. I yelled at him for not helping more. All he had done in his relationship with my daughter was go to work, come home and play video games. He didn’t help around the house or show any interest in helping with their son. Over the last few years, Harry has changed somewhat in helping with his son, but my daughter now feels stuck in the middle and wants me to apologize to him for yelling. I have made no disparaging remarks about him since. I even liked some of his posts on Facebook. I have gotten over it, but it seems Harry hasn’t. I told my daughter he needs professional help. The last time I visited, he stayed in a hotel for the weekend. My son says it should be an apology going both ways and should come from Harry first. What do you think? Family Dilemma in Canada Dear Family Dilemma, Face it. Your daughter’s boyfriend is an overgrown child. Count your blessings that she isn’t married to him. Someone has to be an adult, and I am voting for you to fill that role by taking the first step. Hold your nose and apologize to Harry, if only for your daughter’s sake. Read more Dear Abby and other advice columns.
https://www.al.com/advice/2025/11/dear-abby-should-i-apologize-to-my-daughters-boyfriend.html
Dear Abby: Should I apologize to my daughter’s boyfriend?
