**Ted Robbins: Comedy, Family, and Life Lessons on Money**
*By Peter Robertson*
Ted Robbins, 70, is a comedian and actor best known for his roles in *Phoenix Nights*, *Ackley Bridge*, and *The Slammer*. Hailing from Liverpool, Ted lives in Rawtenstall, Lancashire, with his wife Judy, to whom he has been married for 36 years. Together, they have two children and two grandchildren. Ted comes from a talented family — his sisters, Kate and Amy Robbins, are actresses, and his niece is actress Emily Atack. Their cousin is none other than Sir Paul McCartney, who is said to have written the song “Teddy Boy” about him.
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**What did your parents teach you about money?**
My dad, Mike, would say: *“Money is a bridge between you and the awful things in the world. It doesn’t buy you happiness, but if you haven’t got it, it can bring you misery.”* He was a redcoat and a showman and met my mum, Betty, when she was on holiday at Butlin’s in 1954.
Back when The Beatles were on the rise, my parents were struggling financially. Mum’s cousin, Paul McCartney, bought them a house in Bebington on The Wirral. For a while, Dad ran a grocer’s shop from the house, and a couple of times, Paul and John Lennon even served in the shop.
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**What was your first pay packet?**
My first job, at 17, was as a compere, presenter, and trainer of a performing dolphin show in Porthcawl. I earned about £40 a week and spent it all on wine, women, and song — the rest I squandered. I got on well with the two bottlenose dolphins, but many years later, while doing a similar job at Knowsley Safari Park, I realised it’s wrong to keep these intelligent mammals in tanks. Since then, I have campaigned against it.
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**Have you ever struggled to make ends meet?**
Yes, regularly. I once won £5,000 on TV’s *You Bet* and was asked, “Which charity will you donate it to?” I replied, “Can I keep it please? I need it more than anyone!”
The worst time was after I got my first regular TV job on *Weekend* on Granada TV, earning £250 a show, which I thought was fantastic. I started living like I was a TV star and slowly slipped into my overdraft. By the time I married Judy in 1989, it had risen to £11,500. Thankfully, Judy had an accountant who helped sort the mess out.
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**Have you ever been paid silly money?**
After returning from doing a warm-up for Des O’Connor at Thames TV — which paid £200 a night — a lady rang asking if I’d do a corporate weekend in Ascot for a debt recovery agency. She said, “We were thinking of paying you seven,” and I replied, “£700 for a weekend is not bad.” She then said, “No, £7,000.” It included a round of golf, accommodation, and meals — everything on a tab. That was great!
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**What’s been the best year of your financial life?**
2004, when I got residual payments for the DVD box set of *Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights*. There’s nothing like money for work you’ve already done! Peter is a great friend, and I see him quite often. He gets on very well with Dorothy, Judy’s 92-year-old mother, who lives with us.
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**What’s the most expensive thing you bought for fun?**
I’m very unmaterialistic. I’m passionate about rugby and played as a front row forward for my school, at under-19 county level, and for two local clubs. I played into my 50s so I could have a few games with my son Jack.
I used to wear rubbish boots, so I bought the ones I wanted — Adidas Flankers for £75. By then, I was past my best, but it was an indulgence to buy posh boots like they wore on the telly.
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**What has been your biggest money mistake?**
About 20 years ago, I decided to trade our Ford Mondeo for a bigger car. At a dealership, my then 13-year-old daughter Molly and I saw a second-hand navy-blue BMW 7 Series with ivory leather seats. Molly urged me to buy it because there was a telephone in it. I did, for about £20,000.
Three months later, after the warranty expired, it was making a funny noise. A mechanic I know inspected it and said, “That’s f***ed, Ted!” It taught me a lesson: take my wife everywhere! We then got a sensible car — a Nissan.
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**What is your top indulgence?**
Nice red wine. Paul McCartney once gave my dad two bottles of Château Lafite, and dad gave one to me. To save it for Christmas, I put it to one side by the kitchen stove. Months later, on Christmas Day, a friend told me it was worth thousands, but when we opened it, the wine smelled off. Because we’d kept it in a warm place, it corked and all went down the sink.
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**The best money decision you’ve made?**
To buy a house. The first house Judy and I bought 37 years ago was a tiny end-terrace in Stacksteads. That cost around £40,000, which I could just about afford. I’d never been able to save money until I met Judy, and owning property without a mortgage is wonderful.
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**Do you have a pension?**
Yes. A friend in the pension business advised me to take out a small one. I did have two or three, and kept one which I get a bit from to go with my state pension. The wisdom is to have something to fall back on, because you might think you’re the king of the world one day, and then it all comes crashing down.
People see you on telly and assume you’re a millionaire, but as my dad also used to say: *“You’re a star when your bank manager tells you you are.”*
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**Do you own any property?**
A semi-detached house in Rawtenstall. It’s not a palace, but it’s a lovely house with four bedrooms, and a unit for Dorothy.
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**If you were Chancellor, what would you do?**
I’d persuade massive corporations to give more, especially to the NHS. Many years ago, I met the former Labour Chancellor Denis Healey at Westminster after he’d had what could be described as a very good lunch. He was hugely ebullient with his famous eyebrows, just as Mike Yarwood used to impersonate.
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**What is your No. 1 financial priority?**
To have something to leave my children and Judy.
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**A brush with death and life lessons**
In January 2015, while performing on the opening night of the *Phoenix Nights Live* tour at Manchester Arena, I suffered a cardiac arrest and ‘died’ for 20 minutes before my life was saved by an ex-member of the Royal Army Medical Corps and a consultant vascular surgeon who were in the audience.
When I was having treatment at Wythenshawe Hospital, Peter Kay would come and sit with me for ages. When you’ve peered into the void like I have, you know the truth of the saying: *“If you’ve got your health, you’ve got everything.”*
I want to thank the staff at Wythenshawe Hospital for helping save my life and looking after me.
https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/meandmymoney/article-15139491/My-cousin-Paul-McCartney-bought-parents-house-says-TED-ROBBINS.html?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490
